I recently found while cleaning out our bedroom my journal from around this time last year. This is the exact time I started to not feel well. A year ago. Wow. I can't tell you how grateful I am that you didn't abandon me. I am sure my posts around this time until just recently were rather depressing. I'm sure I sounded like a lost child. (I was.) What ever happened to that spunky fun artsyorange? Well she's slowly making her way back. I have such an amazing calm about me now. We even made an impromptu Dunkin' Donuts run after baseball last night that made both my kids go, "Mom...this isn't like you." I'm trying to enjoy the little moments. I've spent so much of my life looking ahead and being disappointed in big moments that the little moments have been overlooked. And honestly, that little stop at Dunkin' Donuts was silly, fun and yummy! It might actually be remembered and talked about later by those 2 tweens..."Hey Mom, remember that time we stopped at Dunkin' Donuts and you....."
I never really found out what was wrong with me. It started as a simple infection that snowballed. The bottom line is I think too many rounds of antibiotics and anti-fungals turned my body upside down and inside out. I've gained about 10 pounds back (...I lost close to 20pds at one point). I'm running again. I'm avoiding LOTS of foods I used to enjoy. I'm sleeping great. That sorta thing to stay healthy. They did find one blood test that caused alarm. I have a hard time explaining it and you may know exactly what I'm talking about but I tested positive for an antinuclear ana or something like that. Basically this is an indicator that you then have to go see a rheumatologist to be tested for autoimmune diseases like Celiac and Lupus. Luckily my original blood work from that (11 tubes of blood) came back clean. BUT...I will have to go back to her every 6 months for the rest of my life to be sure that the real disease hasn't come to party in my body. It's my understanding that these diseases can be rather quiet and attack you in hidden ways. And if I feel anything whacko going on in my body she has to be informed immediately. Great. Nothing like sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to know if this disease is going attack me. Sneaky butt-head disease. I don't like you at all.
So...perhaps this new light at the end of my tunnel has brought on a calm which resonates throughout my daily life. Whatever it is, I like it. I like this me. And I hope that this new me brings back the "scatter joy" to this blog. (I realized I've taken it outta my blog banner...I gotta put it back!)
Because on top of being amazing, being joyful is pretty good too. So go ahead...BE AMAZING!!
Smacks to you....Jenni