Notes on Parenting

I was watching TV recently when one of those overly dramatic Carter's commercials came on.  It was rather lengthy.  You know, one of those tear jerker commercials that makes those that have kids feel gooey inside, those that can't have kids probably feel kicked in the stomach.  What stuck in my head was the last line.  I'm not sure if this is exactly how it went, but it's what I remembered the next day while in church, "the day I became yours is the day you became mine."

So I painted it.    With my favorite flower the daisy.  I've found in my 13 years as a parent that parenting is hard.  It is.  No lie.  There are ebs and flows of good, bad and ugly.  We are in the coasting mode right now with ours.  Ages 11 and 13 they are pleasant enough to be around.  Haha...no really they are.  Now do I wish they'd help out around the house more?  yes.  Do they need to be less "I want, I want, I want."?  yes.  Do I feel like a taxi cab much of the time? yes.  But overall, I'd say the Horne household is a happy, pleasant place to be. 

The day Mailey and William entered our lives they became ours.  Forever.  The day I entered my parent's lives I became theirs forever, and them mine.  Unfortunately my side of the family is no longer intact though.  And despite every effort to be open to this new way of life my heart is beginning to really struggle with it.  I'm feeling less a part of what it means to be a real family and am doing more to please this side and please that side.  And I always feel like a failure.  I'm kinda tired of it.  So after a rather unpleasant encounter I've made a personal decision.  My family....including Mailey, William, Billy and all our 4-leggeds will be first and foremost.  I'm going to stop complaining about being a taxi.  I'm going to teach them how to be better family stewards.  And I'm going to move forward.  Because I can not change the path others are on.  And although they will be mine forever, and I theirs, I do not have to compromise my happiness anymore.  Nor am I going to feel guilty for saying no.  Because the bottom line is who I am in the Horne house will make an impact on who they become later in life.  And I want more than anything in this whole world for my Mailey and my William to look back on their childhood and remember a mother who was kind, nurturing and always there.  They are mine, and I am theirs.  Always.